Saturday, February 20, 2010

Do I need to define "Room..." Really...?(and a pelican!)

Well the good news: $50 February has been a big hit! Valentines/President's Day weekend was packed Fri-Monday! That was fantastic. (mostly)...

So you already know my schpeal, "And the rooms are all non- smoking and no pets, so that means, no smoking, no pets and no smoking pets"...har-har-har..Yes, its a bit cheesy and I change it up as needed, main thing, people remember the stupid joke so they clearly hear the NO SMOKING AND NO PETS...therefore their later arguments for smoking or having pets,,,,,well they just piss me off and get my coyote-ness on!

A few nights before Valentine's I checked a couple of brothers into a 2 bedroom, they are in town working on their moms place...unfortunately we checked them into a room the same night the water heater went out...oof...moved them to another room...alls good, till the next morning when the housekeeper comes running to my front door with soda stained pillows and cases...grrrr....interestingly enough...these pillows had soda spilled on them again two nights later! But this guest reported it because, well, he needed new pillows! So- bedding, walls, pillows etc all covered in soda...ummm, extra charge on the credit card- sorry boys....ok- back to the brothers. So, the soda came out of the pillow cases when they spilled and they didn't get an additional charge...Saturday on Valentines weekend, little brother comes back and rents a room mid day from hunny.

I get home shortly thereafter, little bro had gone back to work. About 6 I hear screetching and screaming in the parking lot "Not one, roach...not one f-ing cockroach you mo-fo....." Um, what? I walk out into the lot and the banshee is pitching a fit, I ask her to keep it down and tell them that I am not interested in their drama and I will gladly refund their money so they leave, she replies, "you bet your sweet ass you will..." He apologizes, she walks in the room and reappears, humble..."Ma'am, I am sorry, the rooms are very nice, I'm sorry..." Okay- we don't want to know what past experiences traumatized her so much that she was sure this was a crappy motel...but it did make me think we still need to work on the exterior a bit so the outside looks as good as the inside :).

Next morning, housekeeper runs to front office....I go to the room...OMG- um, no smoking, no pets, no smoking pets, NO SMOKING!!!! The room is a smoke filled horror. I was so peeved....

2 days later, the brothers return just after closing, I see them in the surveillance monitor and open the door, mostly so I can chew them out. Little bro is in the office first, I confront him about smoking and tell him I didn't charge the $200 fine because I knew it was big bro's credit card, perfect timing as big bro walks in. Little bro swears he didn't smoke, I tell him I don't believe him because the room reeked of smoke, his brother is furious and asking him if he used his credit card, little bro finally says, we didnt smoke in the room...JUST THE BATHROOM....my reply (as if you can't already hear it): Um, well, the bathroom IS part of the room! Could I Actually rent you a room without a bathroom? Um, no? well then consider the "no smoking, no pets and NO SMOKING PETS" to apply to the bathroom too....he sullenly apologized, big bro paid for 2 rooms and I was alerted that the girlfriend was coming back, I advised, "No smoking, and No yelling." And let little bro know that the only reason I was allowing him back was cuz big bro was here and any break would indeed lead to the $200 charge for smoking...All was quiet....for the night...but, MAN oh MAN, big bro left a huge mess in his room, all towels were soaking wet on the floor and carpet, torn up magazines...who knows...Not gonna offer them a frequent guest card, they are on the black list now. My housekeepers chipper mood has been going down hill, she seems to be losing her patience with the nuttiness...that's alarming AND not good and suprising because she has been doing this a lot longer than I have!

So now, we are all in agreement that the bathroom IS part of the room that allows NO smoking, NO pets and NO smoking pets....right?!

Yesterday morning, here comes housekeeper...room 5...stayover? Um,no..."room 5...DOGGIE!" I made sure we were on the same page (Google translate is my new best friend!) Yep, she saw a dog in room 5. I call room 5, mr. guest answers, I ask if there is a dog in their room, he replies, "um, a what?" Dog, a dog, is there a dog in your room? "Um, no. Well I dunno, I just got back 2 minutes ago." I respond, "Well, If there is a dog in your room, I am going to guess you brought it with so just coming back 2 minutes ago is irrelevant!!!" "Who told you there was a dog?" "Housekeeper." "We have a dog, it slept in the car all night..." Alright...

I wait 5 minutes, meet housekeeper in the parking lot, we go to the room, she knocks, Mr. Guest comes out like a screaming howler monkey- all defenses on high- shouting that the maid came barging in the room earlier on his naked wife and what type of place was this and so on all at the top of his lungs (I have been up about 20 minutes, I have splashed my face, brushed my teeth, dressed and had a cup of coffee- thats it, no food, no grounding, not even a shower, so this nutso unexpected attack caught me way off guard.) Fortunately, my adrenals are still in tact and my fight or flight responses are ready to engage...

I respond that the hskp knocked, announced herself, waited then opened the door (this is how we knew there was a dog IN THE BED!) Now, come on, thinking that the bathroom isnt part of the room is bad enough...but the bed....since the dog wasn't on the floor do the people think it doesn't count...well, no, because there was an arsenal of lies from mr. man. He ranted, raved, puffed up and got all red while shouting at me and pointing at hskp., and shouting, "what type of place is this?" I responded that we are a respectable property and perhaps he had not stayed in many hotels, as this was the standard. He continued at the top of his lungs. I looked him in the eye and said, "Look, you are trying to deflect from the fact that you have a dog in your room, I am going to charge you a $150 fee for that and your wife not hearing the housekeeper isn't going to change that." If you are so certain we are some sort of seedy operation I will gladly escort you to the office where you can call the police, let's go. he huffed and puffed and walked to the office with me. All the while stating that the dog slept in the car and was in the room just to get some water. He declined the offer to have the police called (shocking!)

So here's my response: Well,it doesnt matter if the dog was in all night or just for water, he is in the room and that is against the policy, see you signed here. And to top it off, you lied when I called your room to ask about the dog. Him: Well I really DID just get back to the room, I was on a job interview. Me: well did you take the dog with you on the interview? Him: Hmmph, What? Geez, of course not. Me: Sooo, where was the dog the whole time? you left him in the room right? Him: When you called he was in the bathroom...Me: THE DOG, he, the dog was in the bathroom when you returned? THE BATHROOM IS PART OF THE ROOM@!!!!!! Him: my wife was in the bathroom, I didn't know where the dog was. Me: well, was the dog running around the parking lot or in the street?Him: Hmmpgh (with indignation and annoyance) WHY would the dog be running around, of course it wasn't. Me: Are you seeing the ridiculousness of you defending your lie? The dog was and is in the room, I am charging you $150 for that, you don't have an argument and I am sorry the maid frightened your wife.

Him- total freak out again : the dog stayed in the car all night (my thought but not response- "well you should have let him in because you paid 3x as much for him to stay in the car as you paid to stay in the room!!!!")

Tempers flared and this was out of control....he was defensive because, again, he was trying to deflect. I diffused that. So, I apologized when he brought his key back and he fully apologized too, I offered to refund half of the pet fee, he thanked me. OMG- this was quite a morning!

Turns out, he wasn't lying about the dog being in the bathroom...hskp came running, they showered the doggie in the shower and there were wet and doggie towels all over the bath....So- we had to "de-pet' the room, this is why we charge such a high fee....ooof.

Since I didn't post on Valentine's Day, you don't know that a repeat guest brought me a "Be my valentine" plastic wall decoration (this was the man who brought me the Christmas stocking) He said he would be sure to be back by Easter and probably bring me a bunny...uh-oh.....Well, tonight he came back, (He's super nice) Hunny laughed when he saw him pull up... He spent 50 minutes telling me a (really quite interesting) story...checked into his room....came back to the office and brought me a stuffed pelican with a fish sticking out of its bill....eh? um, hm. Well it was very sweet. I asked him where he found such a thing, he responded: "In my van." um, well, I just said thank you...

It's raining, we expect Richard for a few days...He's still sober, its heartwarming...

I have learned a lot about recycling from one of our guests. The boys with the soda everywhere, after the charge and the tough talk, well they have become some of our best repeat guests...

Its fun, its actually really fantastic to see the changes and its a sociology thesis waiting to be written...but I guess we will settle for a blog (or my book;)....

Thanks for listenin' its raining and 9:30 on a Saturday night, we are probably done for the night as far as check-ins...

PS- we had a great night out, on the 13th, newbie thought she couldn't work but she's such a trooper and she did. Having a few friends up next weekend and looking forward to it!

Soon with more my friends!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Motel Mommie??

Well, as previously stated...there is A LOT to this running a motel in the beach area! The "kids" last night were, mostly, good. At least half of them responded IMMEDIATELY when I called their room at 2:15AM...the 3:15AM wake up was a guest on my front porch, cursing on his phone, in Polish or something of the like...his roommate had passed out drunk and wasn't answering the phone.....grrrrr., I let him in, begrudgingly... sleep was not my friend for the rest of the evening....double grrr!

Last week, some of our 'homeless friends' showed up, I have set aside a few rooms that don't yet have the upgraded bedding and I am pretty strict with everyone on the smoking, noise, etc....you may recall the story about Nancy making oatmeal at 4am in the gazebo a month or so ago...well...she's baaack. She is actually very nice, it is so alarming to see/wonder how these people get taken advantage of....she paid for 5 nights (rain on the horizon)....early morning, shouting awoke us all....Nancy checked out that morning and got a refund....not going to invite her back...

Richard has been sober for 38 days now, and its really spectacular to see the changes...he stopped in for one night...

So, this evening, adorable young couple stopped in to check rates for a few nights. He is scheduled on base, nearby. I gave a great rate, she got nervous and mentioned that she was afraid to stay alone...he will be working tonight, but here the next few. What a sweet girl. I let her know that I lived on property, with hunny and it was a pretty cool place. She was still trepidatious...(sp?)...I suggested they stop by the TravelLodge since its a hallway- hotel type of place, they left for about 5 minutes, then returned. She mentioned again that she was scared, I asked her what she was afraid of...she said, "Um, I don't know really, I have just seen movies..." eek, that scares me! Why DO people watch scary movies?? stop already...

Oh,,,and then, I broke one of my rules, should have known better. NO , we dont rent by the hour...well not for "THAT"., However, yesterday when hunny got up, there was a woman sitting on our front porch, about an hour later (it was quite cold and rainy), he woke me up and said the lady was asking when the office would open. Then my housekeeper showed up, they chatted in Spanish, Hskp told me the woman said she had been sleeping on my porch all night...what?...We have HUGE letters on our office door that say OFFICE...maybe we need to put "NOT THE OFFICE" on our front door...just a thought (sort of like that "Not the mama" from that dinosaur sitcom...please, I hope someone remembers that show...that was the funniest part- when he looked at his dad, rather than mommie and daddy, it was "Mama" and "Not the Mama" hehehe, anywho...the gal tells me that she was dropped off hours before and her ride had still not arrived, and she literally just needed to sleep for a few hours...It was 9AM, I told her that she could stay till noon so the housekeeper could clean the room and we could rent it in the evening, I charged her a super low price, she was grateful and said, "Noon." At that point I noticed a wrist band...hoped she had been at a concert the night before...hindsight says, nope, hospital ID. We finally got her to leave at 11:30 today and she came back several times to talk to the housekeeper...she was convinced that the closet door in her room led directly to the OFFICE., poor soul...

SO, not much humor in the last few days but a lot of need to "take care" of our guests...The good news, my winter price drop...its keeping us pretty busy:)....ready for spring and a full house!